Who do I tell

I tried to tell my Bestie Liz today, every time I wanted to I chickened out. But now I dont have to. Im willing to leave again to see if the man I once loved and I still had a chance. All i needed was a few words to be said to me, no i didnt need him to tell me that he loves me. Many people have told me that and i know that the words do not matter its the actions that do. But he didnt say them, and when i tried to talk to my little sister (cause she is the one who is the closeted to me) she turned everything around on me and took all her anger that she has for other people towards me. I dont see the problem in wanting to be wanted, to have some one need me. To hear words that no one says to me. I want to be happy, why cant i be happy. Im tired of people wanting me when there is no one else available. I know im not attractive, and I know im so much of a smart ass that I keep people at a distance. I dont know what to do. You know what people HELP ME the way I help you, you call me to ask me questions you call me when you need to talk, why do I get the answering machine when I call. Im done, and all I wanted to hear was that you wanted me.